Facebook Frenzy and the Cullen's Abuse of Tech
by Sinister Serenity
Summary: Imagine what life would be like if the Cullens reigned the technological world. Emmett has invited Bella into the Facebook scenario. Watch this space for the extravaganza.


This is my first fan fiction. Please review and criticize.

**Disclaimer: All of the characters in this fan fiction are courtesy of Stephenie Meyer.**

Characters:

Some of them are straight forward but I think the one necessary to be recognized is Golden Rose who is Rosalie.

**Facebook Frenzy and the Cullens' Abuse of Technology**

After months of abandoning the computer, Bella has decided to answer the interminable amount of e-mails she has received from Renee. Although Renee is extremely overprotective of Bella, she hasn't found it necessary to nag Bella with worrisome phone calls. Instead, they have been communicating through letters.

Bella enters Hotmail, gasping with shock at the number of e-mails she has received. With a sigh, she begins to read each and every one of them, making a mental note to tell someone off later in the day.

On Facebook…

**Emmett Cullen wrote on your wall.**

Bella! You finally joined FB. This is great! Now we can see each other more than usual.

**Bella Swan has written on her own wall.**

Thanks Emmett. I should be giving you ALL of the credit; if it wasn't for your six hundred and seventy nine invites, I wouldn't be here today.

**Mary Alice Brandon Cullen Hale wrote on your wall.**

Bearboy hasn't stopped stalking you yet, Bella? Edward's going to be angry with you Emmett. And so is Rosalie. I'm telling. Hehe.

**Emmett Cullen wrote on your wall.**

Puts on his alluring whiny voice Alice, come back! I'll make a deal with you. If you keep this a secret between Bella, you, and myself, I'll give you a FREE (oh yes! You heard it right) ticket to 'Spend the Day with Charming Emmett' today. And…wait, this is the best part, it doesn't expire!

Bella, I see you. You're online! Don't be shy.

**Edward Cullen, Bella's Fiancé wrote on your wall. **

Good afternoon, love. Why don't you change your display picture? Or should I do it for you?

_Mini-Feed of Bella Swan:_

_1. Bella Swan has changed her profile picture._

**Edward Cullen, Bella's Fiancé wrote on your wall. **

Emmett, stay away from Bella.

**Mary Alice Brandon Cullen Hale wrote on your wall.**

I told Rosalie, Bearboy. She's coming. And what are 'Spend the Day with Charming Emmett' tickets?

**Emmett Cullen wrote on your wall.**

Edward, I can't stay away from my in-the-near-future sister-in-law! What kind of relationship would that be? shocked

Alice, don't you want to spend the day with me?

**Golden Rose wrote on your wall.**

EMMETT! Get off the computer right now and go do your homework! Hey Bella, congratulations on your Facebook! And are you sure about that profile picture?

**Bella Swan has written on her own wall.**

So…this is what the Cullens do in their free time. I'm gone for five minutes and you guys have seemed to conquer my Facebook. Edward, I knew you were versatile, but hacking? I'd rather not have an éclair cake as my display picture.

**Edward Cullen, Bella's Fiancé wrote on your wall. **

But it's sweet…like you.

**Bella Swan has written on her own wall.**

I don't like cake.

**Mary Alice Brandon Cullen Hale wrote on your wall.**

Hey guys, Jasper's coming in. Add him as your friend, okay Bella?

**Emmett Cullen wrote on your wall.**

Rose, I've completed my homework. Esme is looking over it right now.

BELLA! What kind of person doesn't like cake?

_Mini-Feed of Bella Swan:_

_1. Bella Swan has changed her profile picture._

_2. Bella Swan and Jasper Hale are now friends._

**Bella Swan has written on her own wall.**

raises an eyebrow You like cake? I thought you couldn't taste cake.

**Emmett Cullen wrote on your wall.**

I still savor the moment.

**Mary Alice Brandon Cullen Hale wrote on your wall.**

When was the last time you brushed your teeth?

**Emmett Cullen wrote on your wall.**

I can't remember…

So, what about that spending the day with me extravaganza, Mary?

**Golden Rose wrote on your wall.**

Why haven't I received one yet? Is she your first client???

**Jasper Hale wrote on your wall.**

Emmett. Leave. Now. Rosalie's on a rampage.

**Edward Cullen, Bella's Fiancé wrote on your wall. **

The serenity was nice while it lasted.

**Mary Alice Brandon Cullen Hale wrote on your wall.**

I got rid of my ticket! It felt like a burden.

**Jasper Hale wrote on your wall.**

Good. Imagine what you would have to go through. I got a ticket last week and made the mistake of trying it out. I didn't read the disclaimer: you get to do whatever Emmett wants to do. So I ended up being his equipment-man while he worked out. And ironically, he claims to have managed to gain more musculature.

**Mary Alice Brandon Cullen Hale wrote on your wall.**

Really? He always reminded me of a sponge-like man.

**Edward Cullen, Bella's Fiancé wrote on your wall. **

Don't backbite.

Bella, when are you going to be ungrounded?

**Bella Swan has written on her own wall.**

You tell me. You're the mind-reader.

**Mary Alice Brandon Cullen Hale wrote on your wall.**

I know! I know!

**Edward Cullen, Bella's Fiancé wrote on your wall. **

When?

Emmett, get off of the computer! Rosalie's in my room and she's scaring me.

**Mary Alice Brandon Cullen Hale wrote on your wall.**

Unfortunately Bella, your future isn't that bright. Charlie has you on house-arrest until your fifty-one.

**Bella Swan has written on her own wall.**

What do you mean by fifty-one? Fifty-one as in vampire years or fifty-one as in I'm an old shriveled-up little lady?

**Edward Cullen, Bella's Fiancé wrote on your wall.**

Alice, you've toed the line. Don't take Bella's credulity to your advantage.

**Mary Alice Brandon Cullen Hale wrote on your wall.**

So everyone's on my case now? Can't anyone take a joke?

**Jasper Hale wrote on your wall.**

The atmosphere doesn't look promising. Anyone else feel heated or is it just me?

**Mary Alice Brandon Cullen Hale wrote on your wall.**

I'll be right back. Jasper, where's the bucket? I need to go cool off Rosalie.

**Jasper Hale wrote on your wall.**

I thought Esme bought one for each room. There should be one somewhere near you.

_Mini-Feed of Alice Cullen:_

_1. Alice Cullen has gone to dump water on Golden Rose._

**Emmett Cullen wrote on your wall.**

Hey, where did Alice go?

**Edward Cullen, Bella's Fiancé wrote on your wall.**

You're back, are you? annoyed

**Emmett Cullen wrote on your wall.**

Respect your elders, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen.

**Bella Swan has written on her own wall.**

Can you all get along for just one minute? I think Charlie's back home. I should start dinner…

**Jasper Hale wrote on your wall.**

Make Charlie do it.

**Edward Cullen, Bella's Fiancé wrote on your wall.**

What's wrong with you?

**Mary Alice Brandon Cullen Hale wrote on your wall.**

I'm terribly sorry, Jasper! I promise it won't happen again.

**Emmett Cullen wrote on your wall.**

What did she do? What did she do? Can I tell Carlisle?

**Golden Rose wrote on your wall.**

Jasper's out. He just got soiled with freezing cold water by Alice. It's really not a pretty sight. It took Jasper a really long to part his hair that way. What a wasted effort…And he thought he looked nice.

Has anyone seen Emmett?

**Edward Cullen, Bella's Fiancé wrote on your wall.**

You know, Alice, just because Jasper has blonde hair doesn't mean he's Rosalie.

Oh great, Jasper's anger is emanating through the house. Anyone feel Carlisle's bitterness?

**Bella Swan has written on her own wall.**

What happened to Carlisle?

**Edward Cullen, Bella's Fiancé wrote on your wall.**

He's wondering why emphysema exists. It looks like the day didn't go wholly well for him. I hope Jasper doesn't meet Carlisle.

**Golden Rose wrote on your wall.**

Emmett's car's gone. And the laptop has completely disappeared. Where is he?

**Edward Cullen, Bella's Fiancé wrote on your wall.**

Okay guys, I'm out. I have some important errands to run.

_Mini-Feed of Edward Cullen:_

_1. Edward Cullen has driven off to buy Bella Swan a diamond ring._

**Bella Swan has written on her own wall.**

No! Someone tell Edward to get back here!

**Emmett Cullen wrote on your wall.**

Doesn't anyone want to know where I am? How come everyone's ignoring Rosalie? 

**Golden Rose wrote on your wall.**

I want to know, dear-heart. mischievous grin

_Mini-Feed of Emmett Cullen:_

_1. Emmett Cullen is heading towards Port Angeles to avoid Golden Rose._

**Golden Rose wrote on your wall.**

Alright Bella, see you soon. I've got some business to take care of.

**Bella Swan has written on her own wall.**

Great. Now what do I do on Facebook?

**Edward Cullen Has Issues wrote on your wall.**

It's Mike, Bella! Yay! You got a Facebook!

_Mini-Feed of Bella Swan:_

_1. Bella Swan has changed her profile picture._

_2. Bella Swan and Jasper Hale are now friends._

_3. Bella Swan is no longer available._


End file.
